After my separation, I discovered podcasts and they were amazing for two reasons: firstly, they filled in the massive silences when I was on my own (which I was SO not used to after being constantly surrounded by my chatty children and extroverted ex-husband) and, secondly, they were reassuring, educational and meant that I came through the difficult period of marriage breakdown stronger and happier than before. Podcasts helped me experience personal growth in a much faster way than I would have managed on my own.
Post Traumatic Growth
This personal growth after trauma is something that has been catching the interest of researchers recently. Psychologists, counsellors, social workers and other researchers, like those at the University of North Carolina, have been looking into an idea called Post-traumatic growth. There is still a lot of research to be done in this area and a bit of controversy (as there always is!) but so far it seems that after trauma some people find they come out stronger in certain ways. People might feel they
- have discovered new opportunities or possibilities.
- have a change in their relationships for the better: stronger, better relationships, healing from codependent behaviours or other unhealthy relationship patterns, or feeling closer to other people who have gone through the same thing.
- are stronger. “I can do anything if I coped with that!”
- have a greater appreciation for life in general.
- have a deeper spiritual life or stronger faith.
That doesn’t mean the breakup doesn’t hurt. Trauma is still trauma! (Read about what your brain is doing during a breakup and why it hurts so much in my Help your teen recover from a broken heart post)
But the podcasts certainly eased some of the pain, got me through some tough times and helped me heal. Some of the most helpful ones were actually dating podcasts. Not because I was ready to date straight after my breakup, but because they were about healthy relationships and looking after yourself as a strong woman of value.
You’ll find ones that suit you–there are so many that there’s something for everyone–but I’ll share my favourites as a starting place for you to explore.
Fantastic Podcasts for newly single parents
The Love U Podcast with Evan Marc Katz
Evan is a dating coach for smart successful women and in his podcast he interviews a lot of very interesting people. He is very well researched and positive. He covers a huge range of topics from 5 Ways you can overcome rejection and find love to How to deal with your ex.
The Dating Den with Marni Battista
Marni is a super positive, high energy dating coach that just makes you feel good about yourself. Her fun podcasts are usually interviews with other dating coaches or experts and cover topics from The fastest way to get over a breakup to help you move on to How to feel like a woman of value so you can attract men who aren’t a waste of your time.
Divorce on Planet Earth. Kate Scharff’s Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned Humans Podcast
I just recently discovered this one but I wish I had found it earlier! I love the Divorced Parent’s Pledge and think everyone who has kids should listen to it. Kate and Jane Prelinger, her co-host, are psychotherapists specialising in divorce and have a wide range of super relevant information and support for parents (dads and mums) going through separation and divorce from My Ex is trashing me to my kids! Help! to 8 tips for dealing with a harassing ex.
Codependency No More Podcast
This is a good one for people coming out of toxic relationships (or for avoiding future ones!) If you think you may have been in an unhealthy or codependent relationship I would recommend checking it out. It’s also a good podcast if you want to make sure your next relationship is a healthy one and learn about red flags to watch out for. They cover topics such as Guidelines for choosing the right romantic partner and Practical strategies for communicating with difficult people.
The Art of Charm Podcast
I love this podcast! It was originally aimed at men with social anxiety but there is a wealth of amazing information here that can benefit everybody! In fact, they are so good I wrote two posts based on some of their ideas (and was featured on their Facebook page!) Catching Tiny Moments: How busy parents can build fantastic relationships with our children, and Being a High Value Parent, which is a good one to read if you are co-parenting. There are lots of great Art of Charm podcast episodes ranging from The Hidden Power of Relationships to What Defines Happiness. They focus on a different topic each month.
No Such Thing As A Fish Podcast
Okay, so this podcast is not specific to single parenting or divorce in any way–it won’t help you do relationships better or find a date, but it will make you laugh. It’s put out by QI and is fun, interesting and silly. Isn’t that exactly what we all need sometimes? If you love listening to crazy facts, need something light (and, actually, you do learn things too) give No Such Thing As a Fish a listen.
I hope you find something you enjoy and learn from. If you are in the early days of separation, I send my support. I know it’s not easy.
Leave a comment to share podcasts that you’ve enjoyed or found helpful. I’m always looking for new ones to try out! Or share with us other ways you coped/ are coping with separation. You never know, your ideas might help someone else in the same situation.
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Until next time,